1.15.09

America runs on Dunkin'.

I heard that slogan and then this came out.

America runs on 7-Eleven, Quik Stop, and gas stations, around the corner and fully operational 24 hours a day.
America runs on McDonalds, Burger King, and Jack in the Box, faster than a speeding bullet and cheaper than one too.
America runs on Pizza Hut, Round Table, and Little Ceasers, for all its soccer victory parties.
America runs on Panda Express, Taco Bell, and P.F Chang's, to feel better about ethnic cleansing.
America sits down at Applebees, Denny's and Carrows.

When we feel like eatin fancy.

America runs on John Deere for his perfect lawn, and Miracle-Gro for her flowers.
We run on Ford and Chevy to pile in the illegal immigrants that maintain both.
'Course we pick em' up at Home Depot, Lowes, and OSH.

(Same place we got the mower and the Miracle-Gro)

America runs on one-stop shopping.

America runs on malls.
America runs on Macy's, Nordstrom, and Gap, to impress others with showings of wealth.
Can't forget about Brookstone, Sharper Image and Spencer's Gifts, for showings of stupid people who somehow got richer than you.

America feeds on Pasta-Roni and Hamburger Helper, to keep our children from jumping so damn high.
Canned fruit and Manwich, to get our fruits, carbs, and protein.

America runs on DirecTV, Comcast, and Blockbuster, to keep ourselves distracted from how utterly terrible and depressing our lives are.
America runs (and then promptly falls) on alcohol, pharmaceuticals, and good ol fashioned hard drugs, to make all of the above more entertaining.

America runs on Wal-Mart.
For everything else that I forgot to mention and so much more.

America runs on everything the rest of the third world wish they had for a day.

America doesnt run on the natural.
Its supernatural or bust.

We need it fast.
We need it easy.
We need it cheap.
We need it built on the backs of Latin Americans, Chinese, and even a couple of our own.
We need it now.
And were all completely guilty.